Life...

I started this message as a facebook status when i woke up this morning. I wanted to elaborate a bit more. life is crazy.

I left my blinds open for the first time the day shined through my window and woke me up. I kno Everybody on Facebook writes lame messages like this. But i think it was Allah waking me up and telling me to start over, like the day does. I didn't like who i was, was doing and who i was becoming. It was embarrassing. Even if only i noticed. So...today is the rest of my life. and life is good.

...A Friend of mine passed away a few days ago. And my brother and i were talking to her probably minutes before she passed. Its very sad and bizarre, but i deal with death different from most people. I dont cry...I dont sit in silence for long periods of time. I just think about what it means to everyone of us who still has life...Because what else can you do? Death is a Bizarre type of thing...I still have her number in my phone, and wont erase it. Because its a small part of me that feels like if i text or call, she'll answer. And she'll ask me "How’s TJ" and "When are yall coming back to the beach?" And I'll say something like, "Prolly in the next few weeks". But really having no idea when ill be back, n just saying it hoping i actually will.

Thats the hardest part about death. The leaving part. But then life smacks you in the face and tells you to live. Flowers are no use…she cant smell them anymore. A hug after not seeing her for months wont do. She cant feel them anymore. Only living in her absence will suffice. So out of love and respect for a friend...Ima do that. No tears. No depression. Just a lot of living. And with that said, Rest in love queen. we all miss you down here. Mashallah...